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#12 – Being Fashoniably Late

March 23, 2008

There is a fine line between being fashionably late and being rude and Black people know how to walk that line with the utmost talent. Depending on the style or type of event, Black people have mastered the art of being “fashionably late.” This means to show up to an event after the scheduled time, but not too late. This gives the effect that the person was not in a rush to make an appearance at the event, because it is not a big deal to them.

Contrary to the white person, a black individual will rarely be on time to a scheduled appointment meeting or occasion. The only time a Black male will voluntarily be on-time or even early is when there is a substantial amount of money involved.

Unless it is a family event, Black people refuse to be the first people to show up at a party. In the Black culture being the first to a party is looked down upon, and unfortunately you lose social value. If you have no choice but to be early, make sure you bring an attractive member of the opposite sex, or a great gift, this might justify your actions.

In order to be fashionably late, you arrive at the event anywhere from 45 minutes to 1 hour and a half after the event has started. Make sure to make your arrival known, so everyone at the party comes and greets you, making you look more important, as if the party didn’t really start until you got there.

Common “Excuses” for being fashionably late are: I got stuck in traffic. My baby Momma was tripping. And I was getting my hair did.

Rumors: Martin Luther King was late to his famous I have a Dream speech. Rosa Parks only sat on that seat on the bus, because she was late for a housewarming event. James Brown was late to his funeral.

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11 comments

  1. so so guilty!!!


  2. This is definitely one of the defining stereotypes for black people which is true 90% of the time…I get places early most of the time, but I know alottttt of people who don’t


  3. This is way better than stuffeducatedblackslike.

    I noticed you comment over there directly after mine and thought I’d check it out.

    Suggestions:

    1. Murdering people.
    2. Falling spontaneously asleep during important meetings/events.
    3. Beating Children.
    4. Total inability to maintain a relationship.
    5. I’ve frequently been told “never trust a black man,” by black people, due to all the lying and hustling.

    That’s all free of charge.


  4. Good stuff here. Added you to my blogroll.


  5. i try not be to late for anything.. specially if i have to pay i wanna enjoy the whole thing! i hate when people come late.. its like hey.. parties over in like 5 mins whats the point.


  6. Africans are even worse. lmao. Party is supposed to start @ 6. You don’t leave the house until 7.45. That’s just how my family does things. hehe


  7. I resent this. I pride myself on being on time. There’s nothing worse than having to sit and wait for the “late people” for a meeting to start. Why punish those of us who know how to use clocks?


  8. Funny. White parents are always late. And it’s not because they’re trying to be fashionable. They’re just self-absorbed and inconsiderate!


  9. I am guilty of this. I like to take my time and lollygag.. Is that a crime?!


  10. all you dummies are late and you know it the worst excuse I heard was some being on time anxiety shit but hey, just look at what time you guys posted your notes. I on the other hand am on time but then again I drive a bus and I just got off work LMAO HAA HAA waitin for the PHD to let us know they dont appreciate the stereotypical approach. Oh, my bad, they aint up yet. LOL LOL


  11. I tell my white friends that I’m on CPST (Colored People Standard Time). They think it’s hilarious.



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