#11 – Converting To Islam

March 21, 2008

Around the age of 30 when many black people are unsatisfied with their lives, they feel the need to make major changes. When a black person becomes tired of the jovial experiences they’ve sustained in the Black church, they tend to seek out another religion in efforts to regain the void in their lives due to the recent loss of interest in the Black church. This is where Islam comes into play.

At first it is very hard to adjust to the changes of being a Muslim because a Black man he may be shunned by members of his former Church, he has to locate a Mosque to surround himself with fellow Muslims, and the hardest task he must complete is eradicating pork from his diet. This frustrates the Black man because he is used to having extra bacon on his plate every morning.

Besides the loss of pork, Islam has its plus sides. Being a Black Muslim automatically shoots you up a social class. You’re now able to wear traditional African outfits, Kufi hat included, without being a poser. You can also brag about how you are intellectually superior to other African-Americans, how you despise pork (yeah right), and how reading the Qur’an every night gives more gratification than having intercourse with a member of the opposite sex.

When a Black man converts to Islam he feels as if he is doing something great for his community. When approached by a Black man whom you suspect has recently converted to Islam make sure you ask him, “Are you a Muslim?” After he says yes, make sure to respond, “Assalam alaikum.” Most likely he will smile and respond with the same phrase. You have earned the trust of a Muslim which may spare you your life in the future if he happens to become an Islamic Extremist.

Converting to Muslim makes a Black male feel more intact with his cultural self. If you are not a follower of Muhammad I advise you to not ask a Black male why he converted to Islam. Many a time, he will try to convert you or speak foully of your religion. If you are caught in the previous situation with a passionate Islam convert, the best thing to do is mention the following names: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar or Muhammad Ali. Using these names you may be able to deflect the situation and speak about sports instead.

Note* – If you are white do not say negative things about Malcolm X to a Black Islamic convert. The conversation will take a turn for the worse. Some converts also go all natural. If you happen to be speaking to one with terrible body odor, do not offer them deodorant, this is considered offensive.



  1. […] more from the original source: #11 – Converting To Islam. […]

  2. As a Muslim I can say this post is funny. However, I believe it somewhat incorrect to suggest that Muslims actively try to convert you- Muslims do not believe in proselytizing. Also, there is a difference between the Nation of Islam, and mainstream Islam i.e. being a Sunni or Shi’ite. I, a Sunni, cannot speak as to whether The Nation actively proselytizes, but I can tell you that Sunnis do not. Moreover, if you greet someone in Islam Asalaamu’Alaikum (peace be upon you),” they will respond “Wa’Alaikum Asalaam” (may peace be also upon you).Lastly, I should add that Muslims are not “followers of Muhammad.” The Prophet was just a that, a Prophet, nothing more. Muslims believe in the oneness of God (Allah), just as Christians do ( Christians simply follow Jesus because they believe that Jesus is God, while Muslims believe Jesus (Isa) was a Prophet.

    Anyways, I enjoyed the post, and thought it entertaining, but as a Black community we must start to dispel some of the darkness that prevents members of our community from engaging one another.

  3. Thanks rebates 🙂

  4. When the Muslim school was in Hyde Park in chicago, the kids would get off the bus and run to the polish sausage eatery, lol.


  5. thats so messed up! haireality

  6. Mannnnnnn im half black, half white, half jewish, half muslim. First and foremost I’d like to tell u good work on this blog, I LOVE IT! >:O. And mannnn I know alot of black people claiming Islam nowadays and I agree with ur posts. Its funny, entertaining, and TRUE! God bless.

  7. i find it odd though. why everyone always turns to islam in specific. but good post none the less.


  9. what does one believe in????
    half jewish/half muslim???
    and then says God???

  10. Muslim Arabs started the black slave trade en masse. Muhammad himself was a racist against black Africans and owned black slaves. He described them as “raisin heads”. Plus, he wasn’t black even though NOI says he is. NOI was started by a White Turkish man. Learn your history. There is nothing a black man can get from Islam that he can’t from any other faith. When Cassius Clay changed his name to Muhammad Ali, it was like changing it to Chicken George. (Although, he is still The Greatest).

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