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#3 – Playing The Race Card

March 8, 2008

In the game of Poker, there are many combinations of cards you may play to succeed and defeat your opponent. In real life, there is only one card. This card is fittingly named, “The Race Card”. The Race Card is only effective if you are of African-American descent, if you are not and you attempt to use this card, you will undoubtedly and miserably fail.

As a Black man, you must play the Race Card with style, and never too often. Always have your Race Card with you when applying for a job in corporate America. Every white mans worst fear is being a victim of the Race Card. This is because white people do not like to be called racists due to a past which we will leave unspoken, this leaves them vulnerable to the Race Card. Famous Race Card holders are Rev. Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson, who still utilize their Race Cards with maximum effect.

The Race Card is best used when caught by the Police, after being denied a job in corporate America, and being cut in line at your local McDonald’s. The best way to use the Race Card is in a simple phrase.”Is it because I’m Black?” This will leave the white man confused and flustered which will lead them into giving you the position you deserve on their task force, getting you that well deserved spot in line at McDonald’s, and possibly deflecting another Rodney King situation.

Before using the Race Card please note – The Race Card may only be used effectively if you are of African American descent. If you are Black, and you use The Race Card on another Black man, it automatically is voided. The Race Card may not be purchased at your local Wal-Mart. You must earn a Race Card which can only be accomplished by being born into a family in which 1 or both of the parent hold Race Cards.

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16 comments

  1. I find that kids use the race card alot in high school. But it never really applies. I, as a black american, find that it is best to steer away to the race card, unless it actually applies, like unless its obviously apparent. but that’s all i have to say on this one. Good Post.

    –Fred–


  2. As a white man, I find this article highly offensive to my sensibilities! Honestly, instructing African Americans in this kind of reverse racism is just…just…

    Oh god, I couldn’t keep writing, the white supremacy was too ridiculous. XD

    In all seriousness, entertaining stuff. You got my white guilt trembling already.


  3. Al Sharpton is indeed the biggest user of the race card. Thanks for bringing the truth out. (Great photo btw)


  4. Al Sharpton does not only use his race card, he abuses it lol IMO


  5. Lol! I agree with Al Sharpton playing the race card to the extreme. Nice post đŸ™‚


  6. OMG! What a post. I actually use the “race card” but in a different sense, lol! I’m not all black, so I use it on black people haha. Instead of “Is it because I’m black?”, I usually hit people with something like, “Is it because I’m light-skinned?”

    You know black people have that racial division within themselves based on skin tone. You’re either too dark or too light.

    You should do a post on that one…


  7. nikki ur right, and its ridiculous


  8. i hate the race card lol i hate when someone brings it up in a situation where its not needed.
    nice posttttt


  9. OMG yes, I agree with you ‘The Don’, Al Sharpton does abuse the race card. It’s soooo annoying, he makes it impossible for anyone to take him seriously. In fact, I think we can assume he discredits everyone who legitimately faces a situation of discrimination because then it’s just assumed they’re playing the race card.

    And Nikki you’re totally right. I hate that division based on skin tone within the group. There should definitely be a post on that one.


  10. I SMELL STEREOTYPES!!


  11. use it with caution with the police or you could end up getting hit by a cop car.


  12. Look as much as people get on Rev Al and Jesse, I think they serve a purpose even if it is self serving sometime. Who on this blog doesn’t? They continously bring light to stuff that would otherwise be buried in the back page of the Daily News. Race has been a problem in this country from the beginning, so do not come down on them. And let me ask anyone on this blog if their family member was wrongly shot down by the police in cold blood who would they call for help? Nuff said!!


  13. doubt id call al sharpton or jesse jackson SK


  14. Use sparingly! Some day some white boy’s gonna figure out the answer to the question “Is is because I’m black?” What’re we gonna do then? Best not to make them think about it too much.


  15. This is the solution to the Race Card:

    http://www.xanga.com/CelebrityGossipGirl/599512500/item.html


  16. “Is it because I’m black?”
    No,90% of the time it’s because you’re uneducated,classless,insecure,rude or done something wrong. If you carry yourself as a proffessional and with integrity you can leave your card at home.
    In this day age it is very upsetting that a black man/woman’s only response to not getting their way is to play a race card. Playing a race card can be viewed as showing your own inner racism and highlighting your feelings of unequality. Why bring race into debate when there are many more legitimate ways of winning the argument.
    As for Al Sharpton, he plays the card because he stands to gain financially and publically from it.
    Deal me out!!!



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