#1 – Bluetooth

March 5, 2008

Black people generally have big mouths and love to chat on a regular basis, to other people and themselves. With the recent invention of new technology called “Bluetooth” the black individual has finally figured out to do both of these tasks at the same time. Black people love wearing their Bluetooth headsets in public, not only when driving, but also when walking around aimlessly.

To the Black man a Bluetooth headset is a status symbol, it shows your fellow Negro-friend that you’ve made it. It shows them that you are a successful businessman, that is if you graduated high school, if not, the term Hustler may be used. Black people do not like to be asked about their Bluetooth headsets unless you’re asking them how much it costs because it ruins the moment and brings unnecessary attention to the appendage attached to their ear.

If you see a black male walking by you seemingly chattering to himself, make sure you check his left or right ear, there is a good chance he has on a Bluetooth headset. Also if you are within close proximity of a Black male or female and you are not of the same race/origin, take off your headset immediately. This makes the Black individual feel exclusive, as if they are the only ones who can afford such new and innovative, modern technology. A fine specimen they are.

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  1. You are not lying about black people and their bluetooths.. That mess is annoying. I don’t see the appeal in having one. They look like bugs and you look fuckin crazy talking to someone on the phone.

  2. hahahaha, its true. bluetooths have now become a fashion statement and a symbol of status. or at least thats what they thiiiink.

  3. This is true, especially since I live in NY you could probably find a few black people with bluetooth headsets and no cellphones. LOL.

  4. LOL, my husband used to act a fool about his blue tooth. He wasn’t ultra flashy, it was more of a laziness thing with him. After a while it got kinda old, like most phases people go through.

    At least it got old for him. There’s not a block you can walk through where someone isn’t rocking their blue tooth. I really don’t see the point. It’s a phone accessory, and hell, you can get knock offs for 20 bucks…so status my ass!

  5. Lmao! I thought you was serious but I sense the sarcasm in this post. I never understood the buzz about the bluetooth. All it is – is an earpiece, but I guess it was similiar to those oversized headphones that people used to rock back in the day to symbolize “coolness” lol.

  6. hahah wow.. so true. but my mom has one so i cant really talk. she thinks shes so cool with it and wont even let me touch it.. its not even that great.

  7. lol bluetooth is funny i got one too 😦

  8. I had one when it first came out and I had to get rid of it because it was pointless. But Black people do love bluetooth headsets that is dead on point.

  9. when i was in new jersey recently i thought all the black people were crazy and talking to themselves

    this explains a lot

  10. Lmfao. This is type true yo.
    Especially the Lotion and the bbluetooth

  11. So old it isn’t even news.

  12. lol i got one too

  13. We actually had a discussion at our house about whether or not to buy my daddy a new one b/c the old one didn’t work well and we all hate it but he LOVES it. The argument that won? “Sooner or later, you’re going to want something that HE thinks is stupid…” Point. Good point.

  14. I hate the bluetooth fascination. I always see brothers wearing them but they are never talking to anyone. I do have one too though!

  15. Man ya’lls is trippin. Them Blutooth are old school now. Only fools wearin em. Keepin it real is no phone and total attention to who you is talkin to. Its so rude to have one in public posed’ to be fo drivin you car. I do use mines in the bathroom tho’, keep mines hands free yo

  16. i agree.. people think that walking around with bluetooth is cool
    you should use it for driving only cus that makes the most sense.

  17. The funniest thing is that sometimes you see them with the bluetooth in one ear and the cheap cellphone on the other…..why?

  18. it’s ridiculous when people have them on when at a bar or a club, c’mon you can’t hear shit! only use it when you need to. i swear one time i’ve seen a guy with one in each ear

  19. God I hate this shit. I live in Cleveland and people wear them to church, the grocery store, the bar, the strip club, to your granny’s funeral, anywhere. It’s so annoying when you’re chilling at the bar or club and some dude is talking away and everyone has to check to make sure he’s not talking to them. They make you look like some kind of cyborg or star trek character. And it’s always some brokeass guy talking to his mama or his ugly girl. Get over yourselves, it just makes you look like a striving loser. I can see using them in your car or at work, but is it so hard to use your damn phone?

  20. I saw a brother with a Bluetooth talking on a pay phone by my house. What a tool!

  21. Why isn’t it called Blacktooth?

  22. bluetooth headsets are very nice and very comfortable because you don’t have those pesky wires*`,

  23. one more good reason for, as Abe Lincoln was a strong advocate of, REPATRIATION OF ALL NEGROES BACK TO AFRICA-go Abe!

  24. Saw a black man at the Starbucks the other day with a Bluetooth in his ear, and a cellphone on the other.

    I was tempted to explain how one typically uses a Bluetooth, but who am I kidding? Why waste my breath.

    Btw, they should call it blacktooth at this point. White people don’t even bother with this crappy technology anymore.

  25. LOL!! The way you wrote the post is simply hilarious, whether I agree with it or not!

  26. Niggaz be crazy.

  27. Oh… I thought they were ear tags to let their owners distinguish which ones belonged on which plantation

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